I am Hawke
by Lonaargh
Summary: Marian Hawke is not just the Champion. She is so much more, she's a sister, a daughter and a friend. And what exactly is Cullen to her? Rated M because of some sexual tensions and I want to be on the safe side. Nothing explicit though.
1. I am Hawke

_**I am Hawke...**_

Marian grinned broadly as she threw the coin purse on the old wooden table. The coins inside clinked softly, suggesting that there wasn´t a lot of room left in the sack for more money. The Hanged Man was warm and gloomy as usual, her regular clientele going about their business in a quiet austere way. A few heads looked up to see where the sound of coin came from. Athenril glanced up from her books and raised an eyebrow at the sight of the full purse. She put the quill down and grabbed the spoils from Hawke´s latest venture. Staring at Hawke, she pulled the strings and opened the sack, tipping the coins on the scarred wooden surface of the table.

Marian's smirk grew bigger when she saw the big pile of gold gleam in the soft light, not too bad for barely an hour work. Some merchants really should mind their pockets better.  
>"Thanks. You can go now." Athenril waved Hawke away with a gesture of her hand, or at least tried to. Marian grabbed a chair and straddled it, her arms resting on the back.<br>"Now, now Athenril, is that any way to treat me? Invite me to take a seat, offer me a pint! We could become buddies before you know it! What are you doing the Hanged Man anyway? I thought you hated this place. Too common for the likes of you, I believe you told me."  
>"The weather. Books and rain don't mix. What do you want, Hawke?" Athenril sighed, glaring at the beaming woman in front of her.<br>"Or maybe not buddies. What I want? Oh, just the regular. A hot meal, a warm house to call my own and an inexhaustible stallion in my bed. Or, hey, let's start with something simple. My freedom." At the last remark Hawke's expression grew serious.

"Freedom? You make it sound like I have you chained up against some wall. Cut the crap Hawke and get to the point." Athenril leaned back, eyeing Hawke apprehensively.  
>"I am getting to the point, Athenril. In fact, I'm getting to a point where I'm very pointedly getting tired of this line of work." Marian said, standing up and pacing in front of Athenril's makeshift desk.<br>"There's still the matter of a debt, as you are well aware…"  
>"Not anymore, there isn't." Marian interrupted Athenril, eyes blazing as she turned to face the elf. "Bethany and I paid off that debt a month ago, and you know it. In fact, we paid off that debt twice if you add that little pile of money to the heaps we already brought you."<p>

"Oh, I don't know about that," Athenril said, "When you take into account all those hours we spent teaching you the finer details of the profession, wear and tear on poisons and daggers…"  
>"Enough!" Marian slammed her hand on the table, getting the attention of several people around them.<br>"We worked for you for over a year! We held up our end of the bargain. Now you can either accept that and acknowledge it formally, or Bethany and I will leave without your permission."

Athenril narrowed her eyes at Hawke's outburst, choosing her next words carefully, "Very well. Have it your way. On one condition though."  
>Hawke stared icily at Athenril and shook her head before turning her back on the smuggler, "No conditions, we're done talking. I'm out of here."<br>"Hawke!" Athenril stood up from her chair, her eyes shooting daggers at the raven-haired woman, "It's only one condition, I get to call on you one more time if I need you. That's all."

Marian didn't move for a few seconds but finally shrugged and answered, "Fine. One job, but I'll decide which one. You know where to find me when you need me." She started towards the door, but Athenril called her name once more.  
>"Hawke? Be very careful, you do not want me as your enemy."<br>Marian turned around before leaving the Hanged Man, grinning cheekily at Athenril, "Oh, I don't know about that. I didn't want you as a friend to begin with." With a last wink at the startled elf, she ducked out of the door.

...

"Bethany!" Marian waved at her little sister who was waiting impatiently in a nearby alley.  
>"Sister!" Bethany walked quickly towards Marian, an anxious look on her face, "How did it go? Did she agree to your proposal?"<br>Marian smirked and nodded, "Of course she agreed. It was a lovely conversation, we laughed, we cried, and now we are best friends for life!"  
>Laughing softly, Bethany shook her head at her sister's obvious sarcasm, "So you got her angry, then forced her to let us go anyway and now we'll have to go to bed with a dagger underneath our pillow?"<br>"Ah sister dearest, how little faith you have in me! I am shocked!" Hawke exclaimed in mock dismay, "But you are, in fact, spot on. Although I wouldn't recommend sleeping with a dagger, you might stab uncle Gamlen if you start sleepwalking again."  
>Bethany snorted, "Trust me, if I stab him it won't be when I'm sleepwalking. I want to be awake for that."<p>

Together they walked in silence, towards the cleaner streets of Hightown. Bethany seemed ill at ease, she kept looking around as if she expected someone to come around one of the many corners.  
>"Marian?" She finally spoke up, "What are we going to do next? The templars are starting to become more and more of a nuisance. I need to hide for a while and soon!"<br>Marian smiled and produced a leaflet, waving it at her sister while walking backwards. "Don't you worry your pretty little head, Bethany! I've got just the solution for our predicament! Athenril had this lying on her table and it magically appeared in my pocket during our exchange. Isn't it miraculous?"  
>Scowling at her elder sister, Bethany snatched the pamphlet from her hand and read it quickly, "An expedition in the Deep Roads? Are you insane?"<br>Marian laughed out loud, "Yes I am. Always have been. But seriously Bethany, can you think of another place to hide for a m—"

Being so absorbed in their conversation, neither of the sisters had noticed the templar standing in their path. With a metallic clang Marian walked backwards into the templar's armored chest.  
>"Ho there, watch where you're going Serah." A gloved hand grabbed her arm to steady her.<br>Bethany stood frozen to the spot, staring with big eyes at the templar. The templar furrowed his brow and looked Bethany up and down.  
>"I seem to have interrupted your conversation," he said slowly, not taking his gaze from Bethany, "You were talking about what better place to hide for a…"<br>"A maiden, Messere." Marian interrupted, wearing her most charming smirk. "She's being pestered by some suitor; you know how these young lads can be. We were just discussing that she could hide at our family's place in Starkhaven."  
>"Hmm." The templar seemed to be in thought, much to Bethany's growing discomfort.<p>

"Messere?" Marian asked, shaking the templar from his reverie.  
>"Yes?"<br>"You can let go of my arm now, I think I can manage without falling down instantly." She playfully tapped him on the arm.  
>"Oh! Of course. My apologies, Serah. I shall let you and your companion be on your way. Be careful though, I came here to track a dangerous apostate. You should not wander these alleys alone."<p>

Hawke opened her mouth to give him a piece of her mind about so-called dangerous apostates, but Bethany seized her arm and pulled her along. She nodded at the templar, her face beet red, "Yes Messere, thank you. We will be going now. May the Maker watch over you."

Knight-Captain Cullen watched the two girls go, listening to their faint bickering as they went. Before they rounded the corner he could faintly hear the sassy one exclaim in triumph, "Very well, let's go find this dwarf!".  
>Hm. It was worth watching those two for the time being. He could've sworn the shy girl was a mage, although the cheeky one gave him pause as well. He sighed and combed his fingers through his hair; this was no time to get distracted. He had to investigate his missing recruits, a troublesome matter to say the least.<br>As he walked on, he glanced over his shoulder one last time. He somehow got the feeling that he would be seeing more of those girls soon.


	2. I am Marian

_**I am... Marian**_  
>"Sweet Andraste, Marian! I want to come along! You need me!" Bethany was nearly stamping her foot as Marian sheathed her daggers and checked her poisons.<p>

The discussion had been going on for nearly an hour now and Marian was more than fed up with it. Bethany's tactics differed between shouting, pleading, crying and threatening; none of them seemed to have any effect on her older sister.

When Hawke was finally satisfied with her weapons, she started towards the door. "Don't you dare leave me here!" It was said threateningly, the angry undertones leaving no room for misinterpretation.  
>Marian grunted angrily, but did stop to think for a minute. She stared at her hand on the door's handle for what seemed like ages, before sighing and turning around. Bethany was watching her intently, a furious look in her brown eyes.<p>

"Bethany, did you hit your head recently?" Hawke asked, her voice sugary sweet.  
>"Listen, I know that I'm not…"<br>"Or did someone whack you on the noggin perhaps?" She went on, not heeding her sister's answer. "Marian…"  
>"Well, it must be something. Because I know that you are not actually asking me to take you along on a mission to find missing templars. Or did you forget that you are a mage and that you are supposed to be hiding? Hiding, Bethany, the opposite of what you're suggesting to do! " She pinched the bridge of her nose and glared at her younger sister.<p>

"Why are you so intent on this?" she demanded.  
>"Because I do not wish to lose you as well!" Bethany cried out, "It was hard enough losing Carver. Somebody has to worry about you. You never tell mother what you're up to, running around chasing smugglers and demons. But I do know, Marian. I'm left to know that you risk your life every day!"<br>This outburst left Marian stunned, she had not expected her sister to have this much difficulty with what they did. "Bethany…"

"I want to be there with you," Bethany continued, angrily, "I want to be able to say that I did everything to save my sister."  
>Marian did not know what to say, "Oh Beth, I… I had no idea…" she stammered.<br>Bethany laughed mirthlessly, "I know you didn't. You never do." She sighed. "Anyway, you're right. It's foolish of me to come along in search for templars, of all things. But promise me you'll be careful, sister." The anger and frustration had left her eyes, leaving sadness, resignation and fear.

Fighting back her own tears, Marian pulled her sister in for a hug.  
>"Beth, I can handle myself. Don't worry about me. I love you, you know that?" She whispered in her sister's hair, before releasing her.<br>"I know, I know. It just frustrates me sometimes, that's all." Bethany sighed, drying her tears. "Very well, off with you." She said, smiling a tight little smile.

Marian nodded and opened the door, raising an eyebrow at Bethany, "Well?" she asked.  
>Bethany looked at her, a confused look on her face, "Well, what?"<br>"Well, are you coming? How can I leave you at home after this?"  
>Marian grinned at the little squeal of joy Bethany gave at this, shaking her head at the sight of her little sister running to grab her staff.<p>

"Mind yourself though; if you get made tranquil I won't buy you anymore gifts for your Namesday." Marian said when they walked out of the house, slamming the door behind them.  
>"Marian! Don't say such awful things!" Bethany cried out.<br>"I'm just saying, no more gifts for you if you get caught." Marian replied, holding her hands up in defense.

Fenris was leaning against a wall, his arms crossed in front of his chest. His lyrium brandings were standing out brightly against the dark colors of his clothes and his sword shone in the early afternoon sunlight. He furrowed his brow when he saw Bethany accompanying his newfound friend.

"Fenris! My favorite broody person!" Hawke greeted the elf, "Are you ready to head out and whack some goons?" She didn't wait for his reply and brushed past him.  
>Fenris nodded and caught up with the sisters, easily falling in stride with their hasty footsteps, "Did you have to bring the mage?" he inquired, his face betraying no emotion as he stared straight ahead, "You do realize that we are going after templars?"<br>"Fenris, she has a name. And yes, we are perfectly aware of the whole templar issue. We thought it may be worthwhile to see how much fun it would be, getting arrested and hauled off to the Circle." Hawke replied roughly. "Where is Varric?"

"My, my. What is that sweet voice I hear in the distance? Could it possibly be the ever-graceful and kind Hawke?" Varric's deep voice rumbled from behind a few market stalls, a coy grin on the dwarf's broad face.  
>"Not now Varric." Hawke grimaced, "You know I hate it when you talk like that."<br>"Ah, it is the fair lady! Just listen to those good natured words, look at that cheerful twinkle in her beautiful eyes. Any man would be honored to have her affection!" Unabashed by Marian's glaring, Varric continued merrily.

"Maker, save me from articulate dwarves." Marian sighed, shaking her head ruefully and punching Varric playfully on the shoulder.  
>"Tell me Sunshine, is your mighty sister always this rude to the people and dwarves that adore her?" Varric asked Bethany, rubbing his shoulder with a hurt look on his face.<br>Not answering, Bethany smiled thankfully at her sister and the dwarf. She never felt much at ease around Fenris, as he never made it a secret how much he loathed mages.

The group travelled quickly to the path that led to Wilmod's camp, where Varric looked around nervously. "I don't know about this, Hawke." he said, "Is it wise to meddle in the affairs of templars?"  
>Marian shrugged as she trudged on, "We will see soon enough, Varric."<br>Fenris snorted, "Since when do we consider Hawke's decisions _wise_?"

"Maybe it's just the location." Varric added, eyes darting about, "I don't like these cliffs and mountains. They make Bianca twitchy. And not in a good way."  
>"Twitchy, but not in a good way?" Marian asked incredulously, "you mean you can make your crossbow twitch in a good w- Okay, you know what? I never asked, I don't want to know." She shook her head to dislodge the mental image of Varric trying to make Bianca <em>twitch.<em>  
>"You are a very disturbing dwarf from time to time, you know that?" She added disgustedly.<br>"Me? Madam! I am offended. May I remind you that _you_were the one who ran to the Rose the first day she got into Kirkwall? Some of those creatures that work there are just…" he shuddered, unable to finish his sentence.

They plodded on in quiet, good-natured bickering for the better part of an hour when Marian held up her hand, signaling that she heard something.  
>"Andraste be my witness, Wilmod. I will have the truth from you. Now!" A raised male voice thundered from nearby.<p>

"That does not sound like a happy templar, if you ask me." Bethany muttered, stepping back behind Fenris and Marian as the group stepped into the clearing.  
>The two men did not notice their approach, too absorbed in their discussion. The Knight-Captain was threatening Wilmod, although the reason wasn't clear to Marian.<br>"Mercy, ser, mercy!" Wilmod begged, to no avail.  
>Cullen let go of the recruit, "Were it that easy." He sneered, ignoring Wilmod's plea not to hit him anymore before kneeing him in the stomach.<p>

Fenris raised his eyebrows when he saw the Knight-Captain draw his sword on the recruit. "It may be wise to step in at this point, Hawke." He muttered, "We might need the recruit for our own goals."  
>Hawke nodded, glaring at the templars. 'Here's hoping he won't recognize me and Bethany' she thought, before stepping forward.<p>

"Well, well. Here was me thinking you only treated mages this badly. Nice to see you're branching out, ser Knight!" She said sarcastically, keeping a safe distance between herself and the templar.

Cullen's head snapped in her direction, momentarily distracted, "This does not concern you, stranger!" He sneered, "This is templar business!"  
>Suddenly Wilmod started laughing, his voice and body language altered with a slight tinge of hysteria. "You have struck me for the last time, foolish human!" he cackled.<p>

Before they could respond, shades were appearing around them.  
>Marian gritted her teeth and motioned for Bethany to stay behind Varric before rushing into battle.<p>

...

Cullen was deep in thought, staring at the patch of ground where what remained of Wilmod had sank into the mud. The little group that had saved his life just moments ago was noisily leaving the camp. The battle itself had been brief, and he had asked the woman for help with interrogating the ladies at the Rose. It was an odd group, with unfamiliar faces to him. He knew Varric, of course, the dwarf was a well known sight in the city. But the other three were a mystery to him. Although the two women looked very familiar to him, he just couldn't remember where it was that he had seen them before. He also suspected the elf had some sort of magic, although he surely was no mage. There was something about those tattoo's he wore that set Cullen's teeth on edge.

"Staring at it won't make him come back, y'know." An ardent voice told him unceremoniously, "And on the whole, I think that may be for the best. He wasn't quite like himself near the end."  
>Cullen looked up to see the black haired woman perched on a nearby rock, wearing a saucy grin.<p>

He stood up and nodded at her, "I realize that, but thank you. I didn't quite catch your name, serah. How may I adress you?"  
>"My name is Hawke. Marian Hawke." she answered, winking at him. Cullen frowned; there was something familiar about her. Dark hair, blue eyes. He had seen her before, he was sure of it.<p>

She chewed on her bottom lip, something seemed to bother her.  
>"Very well," Cullen replied, "what can I do for you serah?"<br>The woman shrugged, stuyding her nails, "Nothing much really, I just stayed a bit behind to see if you are okay. Can't have our Knight-Captain suddenly disappearing, can we? There may have been some straggler shades, waiting to pounce on unsuspecting templar flesh. You never can tell with those demon types."

Cullen dipped his head in acknowledgement, "Thank you serah, but it wasn't necessary. I assure you that I am fine and can handle myself quite well."  
>"I have no doubts about that, ser Knight." She answered, a lopsided smile playing on her lips as she looked him up and down.<br>He could feel the blood rushing to his cheeks and ears, much to his own dismay. The burning hot feeling grew worse when she started laughing out loud, "Don't worry Messere," she laughed, "I'll stop embarassing you. For now."  
>Cullen glared at her, but didn't answer.<br>She slid down the rock and turned around, waving at him. "Be seeing you, Knight-Captain."

"Praise the Maker." he muttered when she had disappeared out of sight. Women, he'd never understand them as long as he lived.  
>Suddenly he remembered where he knew her from. She was the snarky girl that crashed into him the other day. It seemed he was right, she was one to keep an eye on. There was trouble, if he ever saw it. He still had his doubts about her female companion. A friend? A sister perhaps? They did look a lot alike.<br>He watched as she made her way down the path back to the city. Marian Hawke. A name to remember.


	3. I am a sister

_**I am... a sister **_

_"Are you sure you want to come along Beth?" "I am sure. Cullen dropped hints; he knows I am a mage. I need to hide and what better place to hide than the DeepRoads?." _

"Bethany, watch out!" Marian cried out as she sank her blade into yet another Hurlock.  
>Bethany, shaken from her thoughts, gave a small shriek before blasting the genlock that was almost upon her with a searing hot fire blast. She winced and reached for her abdomen, but stopped the motion halfway through before her sister could see it. It was nothing to worry about, only a small cut.<br>"Got him" she announced cheerfully, smiling when her sister gave her a thumbs up and a wink.  
>"Just pretend they are templars." Varric joked, unloading Bianca at a nearby Darkspawn.<br>Marian snorted, "Bloody templars, if it weren't for them we wouldn't be down here."

_"We've chosen one of the hidden entrances. The DeepRoads there will be nice and virginal, ready for a good deflowering." _

"I'll kill him. I'll kill him with my bare hands and then let Bianca finish him off. Then, I'll let Blondie revive him so I can kill him again!" Varric ranted, stomping forward. Bethany glanced at the dwarf, she was just thinking about Bartrand's departing speech. How she would love to get her fingers on that dwarf.  
>"I don't think that's possible Varric." Hawke interjected.<br>"Shut up you, I'm in the middle of a wonderful daydream." The dwarf growled at her.  
>Bethany kept quiet, concentrating on moving forward. She didn't feel so good; maybe she shouldn't have eaten those mushrooms. Or drank that water, it did look somewhat suspicious. Blighted DeepRoads.<p>

_"I'm sorry to interrupt, ser dwarf. But I need to speak with my children." _

The nightmare woke her with a strangled scream. Maker's Breath, would that little argument be the last conversation she would have with her mother?  
>The campfire roared, radiating warmth and some light to the gloom of the DeepRoads. Bethany sat a little distance away from the other three companions, gritting her teeth every time she felt the pain surge through her stomach. Something was wrong. Horribly wrong.<br>"Sunshine, how about some dinner? It's my new specialty; Mushroom á la Varric. And if you're feeling risqué today, you can also try dessert; Varric's mushrooms!" Varric called out to her, holding up a roasted piece of Deep Mushroom.  
>Marian laughed, "'Varric's Mushrooms'? That sounds like a disease Isabella could end up with."<br>"No thank you Varric, I'm quite sick of mushrooms for the time being. I'll pass this round." Bethany smiled, ignoring the scrutinizing glare her older sister gave her.

_"Bethany, please! The DeepRoads are so dangerous. I couldn't bear it if something happened." "I'll be fine mother! Stop worrying." _

Oh Maker, why didn't she listen to her mother? Bethany clutched her staff, using it to support her as she continued forward. Sweet Andraste, why did it hurt so badly? The cut on her stomach, small as it was, throbbed. Should she tell Marian? She glanced at her sister, who was chatting amiably with Fenris.  
>No, there was no need to worry her. They would be back soon and then she would go to Anders. He would help her, he would know what to do. Oh please, let him know what to do.<p>

_I'm going to die…_

"This part of the DeepRoads looks familiar." Hawke said, as they entered yet another chamber.  
>Varric beamed at her, "We're back where we started, and in only five days. Not bad, eh?"<br>Hawke smirked at her dwarven companion, she was happy to see that he had stopped brooding about his brother.  
>She could hear Bethany coming closer behind her, it was a good thing they were almost home; the poor girl had barely spoken for the last two days, she was probably coming down with something.<br>"Could we… slow down? I'm not feeling very well." Bethany asked, her voice sounding weak.

"I think all our stomachs are a bit tender right now." Marian joked, trying to make her sister smile. Besides, they were so close to home already. Stopping now would be a waste of time.  
>Varric chuckled and turned around to talk to Bethany, "I'll wager it was those deep mushrooms we found."<p>

"No… I…" Bethany sank to her knees, not able to respond.  
>Marian's heart skipped a beat, "Bethany!" She rushed over to her sister, only now seeing the sickly hue her skin had taken.<br>"It's the blight, isn't it?" Bethany asked, her voice trembling as she grasped her stomach again, "I'll end up just like Wesley, won't I?"

Marian fought against the panic that threatened to consume her. Why didn't she see this sooner?  
>"That's just like you, keeping this to yourself." She joked, blinking away her own tears.<br>"What could you have done?" Bethany whispered, "Swoop to my rescue?"  
>Marian couldn't prevent a sob escaping from her throat. Her baby sister, this couldn't be happening. Why was this happening?<br>"I'm not going to last until the surface," Bethany continued, "It's coming on faster." Her voice grew in pitch as the realization dawned on her.

"We're in the middle of nowhere." Varric sounded worried and strangely far away to Marian's ears. "There's no way… oh, Sunshine…" he finished sadly.  
>Marian shook her head, her mind racing. There must be some way to help Bethany. Some solution, some way to contact somebody. Anything!<p>

Bethany grabbed her hand, "Stop fretting Marian. It's okay. We all knew the risks, I just wasn't careful enough."  
>Marian couldn't answer, she just squeezed the hand that grabbed hers.<br>"You'll take care of it, won't you, sister?" Bethany whispered.  
>Marian chuckled miserably, "You always were a heartbreaker, Bethany." She answered softly, ignoring the pain in her own heart. This was no time to break down, her sister needed her right now. No time for pain, no time for grief.<br>Bethany smiled, "And you always made me laugh." She stroked Marian's face, "It's just you now. Take care of mother."

Marian nodded and gave her sister a kiss on her forehead, before turning to Varric. "Varric, do you have some of those mushrooms left? And a healthpotion, please?"  
>Varric nodded, his cheeks glistening from the tears that had spilled from his own eyes.<br>Fenris grimaced, "I don't think a healthpotion will save her now, Hawke."  
>Marian ignored him, stroking her sister's curls soothingly, "It'll be okay Beth, I promise. It'll stop hurting soon." She whispered hoarsely.<br>She could hear Varric talking quietly to Fenris, "It's not a cure, elf. It's a sedative. There's no point in hurting the poor girl more. "

He gave the mixture to Hawke, who took it from him with trembling hands.  
>"Here Beth, drink this. It'll make the pain go away." Marian encouraged Bethany, smiling slightly.<br>Bethany nodded and emptied the bottle. It only took a little while for the potion to take effect, putting the girl in a deep sleep.  
>"Sleep well, sister." Marian whispered, drawing her dagger and placed it on her sister's chest. She took a deep shuddering breath and drove the dagger through the heart.<br>She stayed at her sister's side for a while longer, making sure there was no more heartbeat, no more life in the poor girl.

"Let's go." She rasped, not looking at Varric or Fenris. "We've lingered here far too long."  
>Varric put his hand on her shoulder, "Hawke, I…" but Marian shrugged his hand off.<br>"I'm fine Varric. Just, let me be for a while."

Cullen was standing in the Gallow's Courtyard, keeping an eye out for trouble. He was not in a good mood. He had sent a group of templars to Hawke's house, only to return empty handed. Neither of the Hawke sisters was home and they hadn't been seen in Kirkwall for over a week now.

...

Marian Hawke. Cullen's face grew darker. She had found Keran for him, no doubt using questionable methods to achieve that goal. And in the following weeks he had gotten to know her better, only to have his first suspicions confirmed. The woman was trouble. Her sister, Bethany, was a mage. He had known for quite some time now, but something withheld him from acting on it. It wasn't until the Knight-Commander had grown suspicious that he ordered his men to pay the little hovel a visit.

And now both of them were gone. He wasn't quite sure what to think of it, but he did know that it was highly suspicious. He rocked a bit back and forth on his feet, trying to stretch his back. Maker, he loved being the Knight-Captain, but he spent too much time inside his office. He wasn't used to standing on his feet for hours on end anymore.

He was shaken from his musings by a ravenblack head bobbing up and down through the crowds.  
>"Hawke!" he called out, making his way through the throng of people until he stood in front of her.<br>Marian turned around and looked at him, a vacant stare in her eyes. Cullen frowned, something was wrong. As soon as that thought entered his head, he pushed it away again. He had no business being concerned about her.

"What do you want Cullen? I'm not in the mood." Hawke snapped. Was that alcohol he smelled on her breath?  
>"I've heard some disturbing rumors about your sister, Hawke. I hope they're not true." He told her.<br>Hawke froze as if struck.  
>"You know we cannot allow an apostate in the city, Hawke. Your sister would be wise to turn herself in." Cullen continued, heedless to her mood.<p>

The next thing he knew, he saw Hawke's fist coming around in a straight trajectory to his jaw. It was not a dainty little slap like you would expect from a woman, the blow connected hard.  
>"Shit, that hurt!" Hawke growled, clasping her hand to her chest.<br>Cullen's hand flew up to his jaw, spitting out the blood that already was flowing into his mouth.

By the void, had she gone crazy? He should arrest her for this, but something was off here and he was going to get to the bottom of this. He could arrest her afterwards.  
>Cullen, jaw aching, grabbed her by the wrist and dragged her towards one of the more quiet corners of the Gallows.<br>"Ser Cullen? Knight-Captain, do you need assistance?" One of the templars, who had come rushing towards them in response to the attack, asked him.

"I'll be fine recruit, back to your post." Cullen snarled, "I'll handle this myself."  
>He pushed Hawke into the corner, "What in Andraste's name where you thinking?" He spat, "Have you lost your mind? Striking a templar in the middle of the Gallows? Are you truly suicidal?"<br>"Hah! You would like that wouldn't you?" Marian shouted, her face inches from his. "Wouldn't that just be peachy? Both of the sisters out of your hair! No more trouble from the Hawkes. Oh wait, maybe my mother should die as well!"

"You struck me, Hawke! You struck the bleeding Knight-Templar!" He shouted back at her.  
>"How dare you get angry with me? How dare you! I should hit you again! And again! Andraste forgive me, but I'm utterly tempted to beat you until I've reached the end of my strength! It's all your fault!" She enforced her words by beating with her fists against his templar armor, each impact hitting him harder than he had suspected she could.<br>Cullen grabbed her wrists to make her stop pummeling him, his anger slowly subsiding by the sheer force of her hatred. He didn't know her like this, she usually joked around. "What are you going on about? I don't want anybody dead." He snapped.  
>"Sure you do!"She sneered. "Death to all apostates, remember? Well, you are ahead buddy! At least one apostate is dead already, and all you had to do was scare her into hiding."<p>

"Have you been drinking?" Cullen demanded, grabbing her shoulders.  
>"Damn right I've been drinking, Templar Boy! Now unhand me, I've got a memorial to plan." She slurred, trying to push him away.<p>

Cullen stared at her, trying to understand something out of her babbling. Suddenly the coin dropped and he groaned inwardly.  
>"Bethany… is dead?" He asked, dreading the answer he already knew would come.<br>"Yes, she is dead. I killed her when the taint took her. I killed my baby sister." She was yelling now, her voice strangely trembling.

He closed his eyes. Oh Maker. He said exactly the wrong thing at the wrong time. No wonder she lashed out at him.  
>"I'm so sorry Hawke. I… I don't know what to say." He apologized, resisting the urge to put his arms around her. "All I can offer you is an apology. I didn't know. My… condolences."<br>"And you know the worst part, Cullen?" Marian demanded, tears streaming down her face. "The worst part was when I had to tell mother. I broke her heart. Again. I wanted to take my sister into the DeepRoads. I did not stop Carver from charging that ogre, I… I…" the ranting changed into heartfelt sobbing and Cullen stood there, feeling like a complete idiot.

He glanced around, making sure nobody saw them. "Oh Maker, forgive me." He mumbled, before pulling her against his chest. "There, there." He said, awkwardly.  
>Hawke glared up at him, her eyes red and puffy, "There, there?" she snorted, "Did you really just say that?"<br>Cullen chuckled, "Yes, well. Templars don't usually try to comfort crying ladies." He looked down in those watery eyes and smiled.

Marian sighed and suddenly pressed her lips against Cullen's. His eyes flew wide open, totally taken by surprise.  
>"Are you alright, ser?" The templar from before asked, rudely interrupting them before Cullen could push her away.<br>"I… erhm… yes, we are alright. Thank you. I… erhm… should go. Yes. " Cullen nodded to Marian, who was mumbling something about getting home to her mother in those difficult times, and almost ran off towards his office.

Maker's Breath, what was he thinking?


	4. I am a thief

I am… a thief.

"That's my place you're occupying there, sweetheart." Isabela drawled, one eyebrow raised.  
>Marian snorted and emptied her mug, "I know, it took the barkeep three rounds to give me a mug of ale instead of that sewer water you call rum. I'm surprised there aren't indents from your boots in the floor yet. "<br>Isabela smirked, "At least it gets me drunk. And I'm not heavy enough to actually dent the floor."

"And don't forget all those men who invited me for a quick tumble behind the barrels." Marian waved at the barkeeper for another mug.  
>"Oh dear," Isabela mused, "they must've been surprised it was you and not me."<br>Marian nodded, a wry smile on her lips, "You should've seen the surprised look they gave me after I punched them."

Isabela leaned on the counter next to Marian, "You punched them just because they suggested a fun time? By Andraste's furry mole, you are tetchy these days."  
>Marian paid the barkeep and took a swig of her ale, "Yes, well. I have my reasons to be tetchy. Those reasons suddenly included being accosted by pigs in clothes."<br>Isabela laughed at the sullen expression on Marian's face.

The conversation fell silent while Isabela looked at her friend. It had been a month and a half since the expedition into the DeepRoads, a month and a half since they had lost Bethany. A month and a half since Marian had burst wide-eyed into the Hanged Man, very clearly drunk and completely mortified. She had grabbed Isabela by the arm, dragged her into a more secluded room in the inn and hissed, "I kissed the Knight-Captain." Apparently she had avoided the Gallows ever since.

"So, did you talk to him yet?" Isabela inquired casually, studying her nails.  
>Marian gave a short laugh before answering, "No. No, I didn't talk to him yet." She slammed the mug on the counter and turned to face Isabela, "What do you propose I tell him? Well ser Knight-Captain. Remember that time when I snogged you? No? Oh, no worries then!"<br>Isabela chuckled. "You could try asking him if he liked it. If he did, great, let's explore some other fun options that are possible with lips. If he didn't, well, then you could ask for a second opinion."

"It's not funny, Isabela!" Marian wailed, "He is the Knight-Captain. I was drunk! I was emotionally scarred! Sweet Maker, _he_ is probably emotionally scarred now! He got kissed by a raving madwoman!"  
>Isabela grin grew even bigger, "It almost sounds as if you have a crush on the poor lad." She said, winking at Marian.<br>"Oh sure, rub it in why don't you?" Marian growled, turning back to her drink, "As if it's not bad enough that I've sexually assaulted a templar, now you're implying I did it on purpose!"

Isabela patted Marian on the back. "Tell me though," She continued, "Because I've been dying to know, is he really such a good kisser as those pouty lips of him suggest?"  
>Isabela's laugh chimed through the entire inn when Marian turned beet red and exclaimed, "Maker, Isabela! Will you shut up already?"<p>

"Oh c'mon sweetheart, don't tell me you've never thought about it? How they look underneath all that tin and plate? Or what it is they wear underneath that skirt?" Isabela nudged Marian, whose expression grew even darker.  
>"Just imagine what effect all that training must have on those gorgeous bodies, every templar must have muscular arms and toned stomachs." Isabela fanned herself with her hand, a dreamy look on her face.<p>

Marian snorted in disgust, "Yes, lovely. Lyrium addled zealots. Fun times to be had!"  
>Isabela ignored her and continued, "Oh, and those buttocks. Made out of steel, I'd wager. Chests to crack a walnut on and stamina to last through the whole night, just imagine."<p>

Marian's thoughts drifted off to Cullen again, to his surprised look when she had pressed her lips against his. She hadn't had a decent night's sleep after it; he kept stomping through her dreams. Bloody annoying templar. Dear Maker, what had she been thinking? Or drinking, for that matter. It wasn't even as though she liked him that much, it was just… She groaned silently and put her head in her hands. This settled it. She could never talk to him again, for fear of dying of shame.

"Fine, I've had it with you." Isabela exclaimed when she noticed Marian stopped listening to her musing five minutes ago. "We are going on an adventure, something to keep your mind far away from those pesky templars. With their delicious lips and swoon worthy bodies."  
>"Yes Isabela, I get the picture. Thank you." Marian grumbled, resisting briefly when Isabela dragged her away from the bar.<br>"I've got an idea that'll cheer you right up." She whispered not so quietly.  
>"Oh joy of joys, whatever will it be?" Marian said sarcastically, rolling her eyes.<p>

~~~

"You are insane, you know that?" Marian grunted while hauling herself up the parapet. Isabela laughed cheerfully and helped Marian get up.  
>"It has been mentioned to me once or twice." She answered, looking around casually, "I think we should go that way." She set off, pulling Marian along with her. "I'm telling you, it's a marvellous idea! It's just the thing to get your mind off that pesky Knight-Captain." They slowed down to a crawl as they reached the better lit part of the wall.<p>

Marian scoffed, "Run that by me again? Going to the templars is supposed to get my mind off templars… how?"  
>"Okay, maybe not exactly that. However, just imagine how much fun it'll be to sneak into the Knight-Captain's room!"<br>"What?!"  
>"Ssht! Do you want them to catch us?" Isabela hissed, "Although, on second thought, it might be interesting to see what they would do to two gorgeous women…"<br>"Isabela, this is utterly childish!"

"Oh light up! We'll be fine. We won't steal anything. I just want to look around a bit. Find out what it is they wear under that skirt. See if they know about licking lampposts in winter. Explore all the wonderful tricks those harlots at the Blooming Rose taught them."  
>Marian glared at her companion, "I hate you, you know that?"<br>Isabela chuckled, "I love you too, sweetheart."

"I don't trust that smile of yours for one bit," Marian said, narrowing her eyes.  
>Isabela smirked. "This will be grand!"<br>"I don't trust your opinion of grand things either."  
>"Oh, you should. Years and years of experience made my opinion on grand things very trustworthy."<br>Marian shook her head and crept on behind Isabela.

They arrived at a small barred window, just big enough to crawl through. Isabela quickly removed the bars, "I came prepared." She whispered when she saw Marian raise her eyebrows.  
>Marian didn't answer, simply shrugging as Isabela clambered through the window.<p>

When they were both inside, Marian turned to Isabela, "And now what?" she asked.  
>"We will put this," she flourished something that looked very familiar to Marian, "on Cullen's door!"<br>Marian stood gaping for a moment, "Isabela, is that… are those…"  
>Isabela started backing away slowly, a mischievous glint in her eyes.<br>"Isabela, don't you dare!" Marian growled, making a grab for the garment in Isabela's fingers. They were her own undergarments. That conniving little trollop had actually stolen her underwear and was threatening to nail it on the Knight-Captain's door!  
>"Trust me Hawke, it'll be fun!" Isabela called out as she turned around and started running.<br>"Isabela! Come back here!" Marian shouted as loud as she dared, which wasn't very loud.  
>Blight take her! Now what? She should just walk away and deny Isabela her little fun. Cullen would not know it was her underclothing anyway. Right?<p>

She groaned and shook her head, there was no way she could let Isabela just traips off like that. Who knows what kind of trouble she would get in.  
>"I swear, if I get my hands on that wench I'll kill her with my bare hands." She muttered before setting off in the direction Isabela fled to.<p>

After a few turns and way too many near misses with some stray templars, Marian finally spotted Isabela coming from a room.  
>"You!" She hissed at Isabela, who simply laughed silently before sprinting away again.<br>"Damn you!" Marian spat, noticing that Isabela's hands were alarmingly empty. That could only mean one thing.  
>She looked around quickly to ascertain the corridor was abandoned and carefully tried the doorhandle. The door opened quietly and Marian snuck in the room before gingerly closing the door behind her again.<p>

She released the breath she had been holding, unconciously, relieved to see the room was empty. As she cast a look around the room, she noticed that the room was strangely bare for a bedroom. No personal items anywhere and the bed perfectly made. The only thing that seemed used was the small desk in the corner. The quill was still in the inkwell and papers lay scattered over the wooden surface. A steaming bath stood in front of a fireplace, one of the maids probably prepared that before Marian came in.  
>But the thing she came here for, her underwear, was nowhere to be seen.<p>

She searched in every corner of the room, underneath the bed and in the desk, resisting the urge to read the letters that were stacked neatly in the drawer.  
>"Blast it all!" Marian kicked the desk and sat down heavily on the bed, her head cradled in her hands. "Never, ever trust a pirate." She muttered before looking the her side.<br>And there were her undergarments, deftly folded and not quite hidden, underneath the pillow and accompanied by a note that said, "For the Knight-Captain. An intimate gift from an intimate friend. Love, your little bird."

A little bird? Marian snorted, Isabela never had a way with poems. She leaned over to grab the clothes when she heard a voice directly outside the room.  
>Shit! That was Cullen! She looked around in panic, clenching the underwear in her hand, and hid in the first place that came to mind; underneath the bed.<p> 


	5. I am caught

"Alright recruit," Cullen told Keran, as they reached the door of his quarters, "that'll be all for tonight. You can continue your watch for the rest of the evening, ser Moperi will take over from you at dawn."  
>Keran nodded, "Good night, Knight-Captain." He said, before returning to his round.<br>Cullen watched the lad walk away. He didn't trust the boy, there was something about him that didn't quite add up. Hawke had assured him that Keran wasn't possessed by a demon, but then again, one didn't need to be possessed to pose a threat.

He stretched his back and entered his room, meanwhile taking his pauldrons and gloves off. They clanged as he dropped the blasted things on the floor. His sash, wound around his waist multiple times, quickly followed. Luckily one of the girls already prepared his bath, he desperately needed one. Fiddling with the straps on his shoulders to take his breastplate off, he walked to the fireplace. When he finally got the straps loose, he dropped the piece of armor next to the pauldrons. Rolling his shoulders a bit, he let out a sigh of relief. He glanced longingly at the steaming tub of water, quickly pulling his hauberk over his head.

Now standing barechested in only his skirt, greaves and boots, he walked to the fireplace to lit the fire there. A faint noise stopped him and he looked around in puzzlement. Was that a sigh? He shook his head, he must've been overdoing it lately. A few minutes later the fire was lit and Cullen sat down on his bed to take his boots off. He frowned in disapproval when he saw that his bedding was crumpled. Those blasted maids, you'd think it wouldn't be so very hard to clean a room.

The skirt and greaves dropped to the floor not long afterwards and Cullen lowered himself into the water, eyes closed while he savoured the warm feeling. While he lay there listening to the crackling of the fire, his thoughts crept back to Hawke.  
>Hawke, that vexing annoying woman that seemed to keep on haunting his dreams. He had written her a note, asking her politely to meet him somewhere so that they could discuss the latest… developments.<p>

When she hadn't answered his notes, he had sent a messenger to her house. But the lad returned barely an hour later, telling him that Mistress Hawke was not available right now or any time in the near future. He growled softly, trying to push away the frustrated feeling that had been teasing him for weeks. The feeling of her body against his before she rushed away. The strange taste of alcohol on her lips, making his head spin. He couldn't get rid of those thoughts and that bothered him.

He opened his eyes when he heard a faint sound again, this time he was sure he didn't imagine it. A crumpled white note caught his eye when he glanced over his shoulder. It was lying on the floor, half underneath the bed. Frowning, he grabbed a towel and got out of the tub. After drying himself just enough to avoid making a giant mess of the room, he made his way to the note and picked it up.

"For the Knight-Captain. An intimate gift from an intimate friend. Love, your little bird." He mumbled in puzzlement. Your little bird? Surely Hawke wouldn't… Not even she would be this cheeky, would she? He kept on staring at the note in his hand, his mind racing. Intimate gift? Oh Maker, what had she done? A small sound behind him, near the door, made him turn around quickly.

There she was, frozen and cringing, caught with her hand on the doorhandle and seemingly unable to look away from Cullen.  
>"Hawke!" Cullen growled, his cheeks flushing red as he fumbled with the towel to cover himself.<br>"I… I err, I can see you're awfully busy right now." Marian stuttered, diverting her gaze to the wooden door. "I'll just leave so you can finish your bath, bye!" She managed to open the door for an inch, before Cullen's hand slammed the door shut again.  
>"You are not going anywhere!" He snapped at her, eyes blazing, "Don't. Move." Cullen let go of the door and quickly grabbed a pair of pants.<br>"Don't you dare to make a run for it. Because with Andraste as my witness, I will hunt you down Hawke. And I promise you, I will not go easy on you!"

After he had eased himself into the pants, he grabbed Hawke by the arm and dragged her away from the door.  
>"Cullen, listen, I can explain!" Hawke started, trying to keep her right hand hidden behind her back. "Really, it's all just a silly misunderstanding!"<br>"That's Knight-Captain to you, Mistress Hawke." Cullen growled as he pushed her down on the chair at his desk. "And I am absolutely thrilled to hear your explanation for this."  
>"I can explain, really!" Marian exclaimed, scowling at him. "You see, it all started when I was... I mean, when we were in the... No, that's not right, I should start at the beginning." She was gesturing wildly with her hands, rambling and stuttering, something that didn't get better when Cullen persisted in glaring at her. "It all started when I... when you and I... I mean when we... I... right." She stopped lamely, letting her hands drop in her lap.<p>

It was then that he noticed a little piece of cloth clenched tightly in her hand, "What's that?" he demanded, nodding at her hand.  
>His curiosity peaked when he saw her face get even redder and she hid her hand behind her back again, "Nothing. At least, nothing that concerns you."<br>Cullen sighed and pulled the chair forcibly so Hawke faced him with a small squeal. "Give it to me, now!" He demanded through clenched teeth.  
>"No! It's... well, private." Marian stared defiantly in his eyes, seemingly not impressed with the tall man towering over her.<br>"Marian, I can and will call a guard to escort you to the holding cells if you don't hand that... that... thing over, right now!" Cullen told her in a low voice, bringing his face even closer to hers.  
>Hawke sneered and threw the piece of cloth at him "Fine, but you will just draw the wrong conclusion from it." She snapped, before crossing her arms in front of her chest and glaring at Cullen.<p>

Cullen unfolded the cloth and felt his face grow warm as realization sunk in, "These are... this is... underwear?" He asked hoarsely.  
>"Yes."<br>"Your... underwear?"  
>"Yes." Hawke's glare got even more intense, her eyes narrowed.<br>Cullen stared at the piece of clothing in his hand, his brow furrowing in confusion. "So you came here to... to..-"  
>"No!" Hawke jumped up, snatching her underwear back from him. "It was someone's idea of a joke to put it in your room. I just came here to avoid all this!"<p>

Cullen felt utterly confused, confused and still angry. But that all quickly faded to the background.  
>He looked down on the blackhaired woman staring angrily up at him, she was standing very close to him at the moment. He could smell her scent, he could feel her breath on his bare skin. Oh dear Maker, he was only half dressed. He was half naked and there was a woman in his room.<p> 


	6. I am not supposed to be here

Good grief, she was in Cullen's room. And he was there with her! Half naked!  
>Half naked and horribly angry from the looks of it, but honestly, that was not the biggest problem at the moment. Marian had to use every ounce of self discipline she had to not stop glaring at his face. If she stopped looking at his face she might look down at his torso. His torso that was still slightly damp from the bath, with the light of the fire spilling over his... 'Okay, stop right there Marian' she scolded herself.<br>Cullen brusquely shoved the underwear back in her hands, his cheeks a deep red, "I do not appreciate these childish little pranks, Mar- Hawke." He muttered, "I will let you go off with only a warning this time, but be advised that breaking in to the Knight-Captain's quarters is an offense not taken lightly!" His tone got more lecturing as he went on, but he seemed more and more distracted with every uttered word.

"But Knight-Captain, Cullen," Marian objected, ignoring Cullen's disapproving leer when she said his name, "I was here to prevent this little joke from happening. I know that it sounds somewhat strange, but I swear that I had no intention what so ever to leave any... gifts... here."  
>Cullen scoffed and crossed his arms in front of his chest, "You'll have to excuse me Marian, but I hope you understand that excuse rings a little hollow considering what happened last time."<br>Damnit, why did he have to bring thát up again?  
>"I have no idea what you mean, Knight-Captain." She answered, turning around and walking away from him a little to hide her flushed face.<br>"You kissed me." Cullen stated hotly, "You were drunk and we got in a discussion and you kissed me. I don't know what you hoped to gain with this little endeavor by sneaking in her Marian, but this is not the way to get my attention."

Marian stared at him, completely taken aback by his comment. "You think I'm doing this to manipulate you for something?" She asked, incredulously.  
>"What else should I think?" Cullen countered, "One minute we're shouting at each other, the next thing I know you are kissing me and before I even have time to blink you run away again. You didn't respond to any of my summons, yet I do find you here in my bedroom trying to hide a piece of your underwear!"<br>Marian sat down heavily on the bed, rubbing her face with her hands. "I promise you Cullen, I have no hidden agenda. I am not trying to mess with your mind, I am not trying to play games or get you in any trouble. It just is what I already told you. Isabela wanted to cheer me up, she just has horrible taste when it comes to humor. The kiss was... bad timing."

She glanced up to see if he was still listening to her. He was looking down on her, a look in his brown eyes that she couldn't identify.  
>"I was drunk, I was completely devastated by the loss of my sister," a pang of guilt shot through her heart at the mention of Bethany, but she pushed it away, "I needed... I don't know what I needed, but at that moment I apparently decided I needed you. I apologize for that, I should not have put you in that position."<br>Cullen nodded, "Very well, apology accepted. But why not come to me with this sooner? It would've saved us a lot of embarrassment."  
>Marian sighed deeply, "I was ashamed, Cullen. I could not bear the thought of facing you after what I did. Maker, the thought alone..." She stopped talking and shrugged.<p>

Cullen looked down on her, she could clearly see a muscle in his jaw throbbing. He wasn't saying much yet, giving her the opportunity to take a good look at the Knight-Captain's physique.  
>Andraste's grace, the Maker didn't create a lot of men as fine as this one. His blonde curls were messy, as though he had been running his fingers through them a lot today. They gave him a boyish look, somewhat different from the haunted man she usually saw during the day. Brown eyes gazing pensively down on her from under dark eyebrows. Oh, those eyes, she would drown in those if she wasn't careful.<p>

Her own eyes wandered down a bit, to his lips. Those soft lips she had the pleasure tasting a few weeks earlier. Warm, moist and sweet. Marian swallowed with some difficulty, this man had no clue what he did to her. Hell, she wasn't even sure herself what he was doing to her!  
>A slight shadow of a beard on his jaw, where she could still see the muscle moving. He was brooding on something, clenching and unclenching his fists. Broad shoulders, sloping down into muscled arms. Arms that were used to wielding a sword daily, strong arms that could lift a lot of weight. Marian started chewing on her bottom lip when she let her gaze linger on his bare chest. She always had been a sucker for muscled men. Strong arms, broad chest, and you could carry her away drooling. She sighed longingly.<p>

So close, if she reached out with her hand she could touch him. Let her fingers lightly brush his nipples, maybe tease them a bit while she is gently nibbling on his earlobes. Feeling the heat from his body on her own skin, listening to his quickened breathing. Her nails scratching ever so softly over his flat stomach, barely touching that teasing trail of hair that ran from his bellybutton all the way down. Low, lower to a region that's hidden by that pesky towel. A small smile on her lips when she would notice that her actions did not leave him unresponsive, a smile that would grow bigger when she would slowly undo that towel.

Oh Maker, just imagine him picking her up with those strong arms of his and pushing her against that wall over there. Warm hot kisses trailing her jaw, all the way down to her neckline and collarbone. Nimble fingers unbuttoning her blouse and undoing the strings of her pants, feverishly fumbling with the little buttons and knots. The hot kisses going down after her blouse is undone, wet and hot against the skin of her breasts. Her own fingers grasping in those damned curls of his, pulling his mouth up to her own. Feeling those delicious lips moving against her mouth.  
>"Marian..."<br>"Hmm?" She murmured back, her eyes half closed.  
>"Marian." He would call out her name when she bites his lip teasingly.<br>"Marian! Are you even listening to me?" Marian woke up from her daydream, suddenly realizing that Cullen is still standing there. Still wearing that blasted towel and even more annoyed.

"Sorry, I drifted off a bit there." She mumbled, not daring to look him in the eye at the moment.

Cullen was in a difficult position at the moment. Marian was staring at him and it was unsettling him, a lot! He noticed her staring when her gaze suddenly dropped from his eyes to his lips, then his chest and then... well. Lightheaded all of a sudden he tried to think about other things, about cold baths, blood, gore. Anything to take his mind away from the woman sitting on his bed, the woman who was now openly staring at his groin. The worst part was that it didn't leave him unaffected, at all.

"Very well," he said, his voice strangely croaking in his own ears, "I believe you. You can leave now, I shall not report you to the guards."  
>Marian didn't respond, she did not even show the slightest sign that she had even heard him.<br>Cullen groaned inwardly when he saw her flushed cheeks, a groan that almost audibly escaped him when he saw her bite down on her lip.  
>"Marian..." He took a step closer towards her. "Marian." If she wouldn't stop staring at him soon...<br>"Marian! Are you even listening to me?" Cullen snapped, finally shaking her from her thoughts.

"Sorry, I drifted off a bit there." She mumbled, avoiding his look.  
>Cullen took a deep shaking breath, nodding at her. "I said, you can leave now. I'll just put on some clothes and then I'll escort you to the gates."<br>Marian stood up, still a bit flustered, "No, no. That's not necessary Cullen. You can just continue your bath, I'll let myself out." She made her way to the door at the same time Cullen took a step forward to block her way, throwing her off balance.  
>Cullen quickly grabbed her arm to prevent her from stumbling into him.<br>"Sorry about that." He mumbled, steadying her but not letting go.

He stared in her eyes again and something inside him gave way, "Andraste forgive me." he growled, before pulling her against his body and harshly pressing his lips against hers.  
>Her body stiffened for a second, but it finally gave in to his embrace. The tip of his tongue gently licked her lips, teasing them, tempting them to open up. He let his hands wander down her back, making her moan against his lips. Her mouth opened a bit more, enabling his tongue to caress hers. Her taste was making him dizzy, the feeling of her fingers on his bare skin almost unbearable. A little voice in his head was screaming that this was wrong and he should stop it immediately. But he pushed that voice away again, he needed more, just a little bit more.<br>He growled deep in his throat when she pulled her mouth away from his, but murmured approvingly in her neck when she started nibbling on his earlobe. Licking, biting, he never knew his body could be this sensitive. Everything she did made him slightly crazy, left him breathless and wild. Her hands were fumbling with the towel around his waist and he could feel her racing heartbeat against his chest as his fingers slid underneath the fabric of her blouse.

A knock on the door startled them both and barely gave them enough time to step away from each other before the door opened to reveal Keran's worried face, "Knight-Captain, I heard some strange- Oh. Oh! I see. I'm sorry." The door slammed shut again, leaving Hawke and Cullen in an awkward silence.  
>Hawke was breathing heavily, her lips were slightly swollen and her hair a mess. Cullen had the feeling that he wasn't looking much better himself.<br>"Look, Marian, I'm-" He started, but Hawke interrupted him.  
>"It's okay Cullen. I think it, err... it might be better if I leave though." She said quickly, dragging her fingers through her hair.<br>"Hawke." Cullen tried again, worried about the panicked look on her face.  
>"No really, I know what you want to say. It was a mistake, it shouldn't have happened. We are both just tired, I understand." Marian babbled, quickly opening the door before he could stop her. "No need to escort me Knight-Captain. Sorry for the inconvenience and the... you know." She waved her underwear at him.<br>"Goodnight Knight-Captain." She said, before closing the door behind her.

Cullen stood dazed in his bedroom, staring at the closed door while touching his lips with the tips of his fingers. That woman drove him insane! But by the Maker, how he wanted her right now. The towel was thrown into a corner with a frustrated growl and Cullen stepped back into the bathtub, hoping that the water would subside the desire and calm him down a little.  
>He couldn't help but smirk a little at the situation. Mistress Hawke might affect him more than he was willing to admit but judging by the way she reacted to him, she wasn't the icequeen she made out to be. Gazing at the ceiling, Cullen promised himself one thing: He would get her. He would get her and then it was her turn to be driven insane.<p> 


	7. I am a daughter

"We are going to do _what_?!" Marian stared incredulous at her mother, who simply smiled back at her.  
>"We are going to give a soiree to celebrate that we got the Amell estate back." Leandra said calmly, arranging a bouquet of flowers in a vase.<br>Marian pinched the bridge of her nose, "Mother, you know I'm not the social butterfly you'd like me to be. I honestly don't think it would be  
>advisable for me to be there."<br>"Nonsense sweetheart, you'll be fine. It'll be good for our name to be reintroduced to Kirkwall's elite."

Marian scoffed, "But Mother, they already know our name. I have stepped on so many toes in this town, they're bound to remember the  
>Hawke name for centuries to come."<br>Leandra glared at her daughter, "Yes, I've heard quite some unsettling stories about what you do while you're away. Regardless, I want our name to have a positive reputation. It's not all about bloodshed and violence."  
>"But-"<br>"Now, this friday would be perfect. I'll let Bodahn bring the invitations to our guests, you are ofcourse welcome to invite your friends as well. I would, however, appreciate it if you would inform your pirate friend to at least dress herself appropriately."

Grimacing, Marian reflected that it would probably be wiser not to invite Isabela at all. She had the sneaking suspicion that Kirkwall's  
>high and mighty might not look fondly on their jewelry disappearing in Isabela's pockets.<p>

Her mother continued, "You might also want to search for something nice to wear, dear. I noticed a lack of dresses and suitable clothing in your  
>trunk lately."<br>Dresses? Suitable clothing? Marian felt an unfamiliar surge of panick rise up in her throat. "Mother, really, there's no need for me to go out and buy dresses. I'm sure people will understand if-"

"Marian. I am not in the mood for this discussion. Please do as I ask." Leandra fixed her daughter with a glare reminiscent of Marian's  
>childhood. Whenever she or Carver would be up to no good her mother's glance would be enough to make them stop with whatever mischief they<br>were up to.

"Fine, fine. I will, however, blame you if I'm becoming the laughingstock of the town when I show up in a dress. Those knobbly knees  
>I inherited from father will be my downfall, I'm sure."<br>"Marian! No dress should show your knees! Please, have some sense of decency!"  
>Marian simply groaned and shook her head. It seemed she also inherited her father's sense of humor since her mother seemed completely devoid of<br>it.

She opened the door and walked in the bright daylight, wincing slightly when she heard her mother call out before closing the door. "Don't forget Marian. Appropriate clothing for a lady! And if you haven't found anything before tomorrow afternoon I shall purchase something in your stead!"  
>Well, there went her option to simply forget to buy a dress. Knowing her mother it would probably end up something frilly, or with flowers.<br>Soirees, dresses, drinking tea while gossiping about whatever it was fancy people gossiped about these days. Bah. She'd rather go out and  
>kill some darkspawn.<p>

"If I didn't know any better, I'd say that some hurlock pissed in your tea and ruined your day." Anders mockingly greeted her.  
>"Close, very close. But you're wrong. I'd actually prefer that cup of tea compared to what I'm about to face friday." Marian answered, greeting<br>her friend with a slap on the back. Together they set off towards the alienage.

"That might be a bit hard, seeing how you have a tendency to visit violence and death on every darkspawn you see. I don't think there are  
>enough left to widdle in your tea." He glanced at her face, "So, what's so horrible about Friday?"<br>"A soiree." Marian said curtly, "A bloody soiree with the sodding high and fancy créme de la créme of Kirkwall, and I'm being bloody blackmailed into wearing a bloody dress."

"That's a lot of blood." Anders replied, "And you are actually worried about wearing a dress Hawke? I didn't think you'd be one to actually give a damn about fashion."  
>"I don't give a damn about fashion." Marian growled, "It's just that I don't like pretending to be someone I'm not." She kicked at a pebble on the street. "I don't wear dresses, I don't dance, I don't giggle, I don't drink tea with my pinky extended. Hurlock piss or not, tea should just be consumed normally."<p>

"You're overreacting." They reached Merril's house where Anders knocked on the door before turning to his friend, a reproachful look on his face.  
>"I am not." Another vicious kick to the pebble.<br>"You are. Listen to yourself, you're complaining about a dress. A dress, Hawke." Anders smirked wickedly, "Although I have to admit that it would  
>be refreshing to see you in something resembling a bit more feminine, I'm sure there are womanly curves hidden beneath those layers of clothing somewhere."<p>

"I notice you have brown eyes, Anders." Hawke responded with a murderous gleam in her eyes, "How would you like to have one eye turned black?"  
>"Aww Anders, is Hawke threatening you again?" Merril had just opened the door and smiled at Anders, "You shouldn't threaten people so much Hawke. People might not like that!"<br>"I know Merril, that's sort of the whole point." Marian answered, still glaring at the tall mage beside her.  
>Merril frowned, "So, you don't like Anders liking you?"<br>Marian sighed, Merril was a sweet girl but sometimes she could be a little frustrating. "Never mind that Merril. I'm not trying to make Anders  
>dislike me."<p>

"Oh, that's good then. What are you two up to?" Merril asked, smiling brightly again.  
>"We are going dress shopping." Anders hooked his arm through that of Marian's and offered his other arm to Merril. "Care to join us?"<br>Merril giggled as she accepted his arm, "But ofcourse! Why are we going to buy a dress? I thought you already had a perfectly good robe  
>yourself, Anders?"<br>Now it was Marian's turn to start laughing, the image of Anders wearing a frilly dress too much to keep her disgruntled too long.

Anders answered solemnly, "I have a good robe, thank you Merril. The difference being that dresses are worn by women, and robes by all  
>powerful mages."<br>Merril seemed to think about this, "But what would a female mage wear?" She asked slowly.  
>"Too much, if you ask me." Anders concluded, before dragging both women towards the dressmaker.<p>

Cullen raised an eyebrow at the invitation laying on his desk.  
><em>You are hereby invited to a soiree, it would greatly please Mistress Leandre Hawke if...<em> and so forth.

A soiree? He had first intended to send the messenger away with a friendly, yet determined refusal. The Knight-Captain could think of  
>other things to do on a friday night than spending the time at a frivolous party.<p>

But then he noticed the last name. "Hawke". It was really too good to be true. It had been a few weeks since the incident in his room. Sure, Hawke had stopped trying to avoid him, but she still acted rather awkward around him. Conversations usually came to a screeching halt after the usual 'So, how goes it?'.  
>He smirked and sat down on his chair, steepling his fingers. Seeing her fumbling around for words like that did give him some sort of dark<br>satisfaction.

These last few weeks had him thinking about what happened and how to proceed from here. He was attracted to Hawke, very much so. The last time he had felt this strongly about someone was when he had met the Amell girl in the Circle Tower in Ferelden. He was a lot younger back in those days, more inexperienced around women. Ofcourse, there had been a few nights since then with some willing girls. He still wasn't comfortable with the idea of visiting some of the... girls... in the Blooming Rose. Some of the lads came back with horrible diseases and required the aid of one of the mages. It always included a lot of screaming and horrifying sores. Cullen grimaced, while he respected the girls and the service they provided to the community as a whole, the very idea of laying with one of them repulsed him.

But Hawke, that was a different story. In his dreams they continued what she started with that kiss. He would take revenge on her for  
>playing with him, he would drive her insane. And he was looking forward to all that.<br>Dipping the quill in the ink he pulled the invitation towards him. With flourishing letters he wrote a reply to Mistress Hawke, telling her that  
>he was honored and humbly accepts the invitation.<p>

After sending his reply with the messenger he went back to the courtyard, already looking forward to the look on Marian's face when she would see him at the party.

The room was hot and crowded. Glancing around the corner of her room, Marian mentally prepared herself for the party. Most of the guests  
>had already arrived early, now chatting amiably with her mother.<br>Bodahn's face was red, both from the heat and the hectic bustling around he had been doing for over an hour now. So far Marian had hidden  
>upstairs in her own chambers, reluctant to mingle with the visitors.<p>

Anders stretched his long legs in front of him and lay back on her bed, his arms supporting his head. "You know you'll have to go down  
>there eventually, right?" He asked her casually. Marian glared at the mage, she already regretted asking him to be her companion for this evening. "I'm simply hoping she'll be so busy entertaining everybody else, that she'll forget about me." She snapped, looking back at her mother who was standing in the growing crowd.<p>

"Oh but you simply must meet my daughter, Marian, serah!" Leandra's voice drifted upstairs.  
>Groaning, Marian snatched Anders by his hand and dragged him towards the stairs, "Remember, you are here to prevent my mother from hooking me up with a random stranger!" She hissed at Anders, hooking her arm through his. "Don't you worry your pretty little head my lady, I shall keep you safe<br>from vicious mothers!" He whispered back, winking at her.

A quick glance reassured her that her dress was still acceptable, no visible stains or worrying tears anywhere. It was a simple green dress with a skirt wide enough to hide a small weapon in the folds. Anders had picked it out for her after going through dozens of silly dresses, none of which she would have dared show herself in. This dress however was as close she could get to 'normal' without showing herself in trousers and boots.

"Marian! There you are, my dear. Let me introduce you to Lord Pucet." Lord Pucet was a skinny, pale man with a very thick Orlesian accent.  
>"But surely this must be a mistake, my dear Leandra? This lovely creature can simply not be your daughter, she is your sister, yes?" He took Marian's hand and pressed a wet kiss on the back, gazing in her eyes.<p>

Doing her best to produce something similar to a smile, Marian tried not to show her repulsion, "Thank you, you are too kind." Her mother beamed at Lord Pucet, probably already picturing Marian and Lord Pucet down the chantry aisle. Marian absentmindedly wiped her hand on her dress, searching for some reason to excuse herself.  
>"Mother, you have met my friend Anders before, haven't you?" She asked, pushing Anders forward a little. "He always has such interesting tales<br>to tell. Please Anders, indulge me and tell our guest about that time you helped the viscount get rid of that nasty rash."

Lord Pucet raised an eyebrow, "You are a healer serah?"  
>Anders shot Marian a look that spoke of revenge, "Yes, you could say that." He replied reluctantly.<br>"Good, good. Could I perhaps persuade you to take a look at something? I have these terrible headaches lately..."

Marian snuck away from the conversation at that point, feeling slightly sorry for her friend. She grabbed a glass of wine and walked around the  
>house, nodding at the guests and smiling. She made sure her mother saw her standing near several different guests, pretending to have a good<br>time. After a while she deemed it safe to flee back upstairs, her mother couldn't accuse her of not making an effort. She had just reached the  
>base of the stairs when she saw Anders rushing towards her, looking very pale and glancing over his shoulder a few times.<p>

"Ho there Anders, I'm sorry I left you with that horrible Pucet but,-"  
>"The Knight-Captain is here." Anders interrupted her, taking her by the arm and leading her to a dark corner where he could oversee the room.<br>"What? Cullen?" Marian frowned and gazed towards the crowd, it was too busy for her to actually see an invidual person.

Anders nodded, "I have to get out of here before he sees me. I'd rather not walk into the Templar Captain, for the obvious reasons."  
>Marian agreed, "Come on, let's go upstairs. You can leave through the window, no big deal."<br>She tapped her mother on the shoulder, "Mother, if you would excuse me. I have a terrible headache, Anders advised me to lie down a bit. He'll  
>make me a poultice to relieve the pain somewhat."<p>

Leandra sighed, "Fine, fine. Go. I understand." She squeezed Marian's hand, "Thank you for at least being here for a little while. Now go, get  
>your friend in safety." The last words were whispered softly, Marian smiled gratefully at her mother. They didn't always agree with each<br>other, but at least she could always depend on her mother to understand what was going on.

As she and Anders climbed the stairs, she could hear her mother talking to Lord Pucet, "Yes, she has these headaches, my poor delicate girl.  
>Luckily we have our own healer in the house."<br>They opened the window in her bedroom and Marian quickly ushered Anders through, after giving him a hug. "Thank you for being here tonight," she whispered, "you may have just saved my life."  
>Anders snorted, "I always do. You're just lucky I didn't have anything better to do tonight."<p>

Marian laughed as Anders climbed carefully down to the street below. Just as she was about to close the window she could hear Anders calling  
>up to her, "Marian? Joking aside, it was my pleasure. I'll always be there if you need me."<br>She smiled and waved, watching him walk away in the dark night.

"Well, wasn't that nice?" A dark voice came from the gloom in a corner of her bedroom. Within the blink of an eye, Marian had palmed her dagger. "Who's there?" She whispered, ignoring her heartbeat dancing the tango in her throat.

"You wound me, Hawke. Have you forgotten about me so quickly while in the company of your mage friend?" He took a step forward, letting the light of the moon fall on his face.  
>"Cullen." Marian muttered, feeling her face flush at the mention of Anders as a mage.<p> 


	8. I am anger

"What are you doing here?" Marian demanded.  
>Cullen shrugged, "I saw you and the mage go upstairs. It's my duty to keep the people of Kirkwall safe, so I thought it best to follow you and find out what you were plotting. Mages can not be trusted, you always have to be wary of their intentions."<p>

He wondered if she would believe this explanation as it sounded a bit hollow to his own ears. Either way, he hadn't managed to convince himself that his suspicion of mages in general was the main reason he followed her upstairs. The vicious jab of jealousy in his stomach when he saw them whispering in that corner together, the red haze in front of his eyes when he saw the mage's arm around her shoulder as they climbed the stairs. Of course he knew that Hawke had mages as friends. Maker, the whole town knew about Anders the healer. But the thought of him actually laying a hand on her and being more than just a friend, it was a disgusting notion.

"Get out." Hawke told him in a low voice. The moonlight caught the blade of her knife as she grasped the handle slightly different, less threatening towards Cullen yet no less dangerous.  
>Cullen glanced at the weapon and raised an eyebrow, "I don't take kindly to being threatened, Hawke." He took another step forward, "I suggest you drop the knife before I arrest you for drawing a weapon at the Knight-Captain."<br>This did not impress Marian as much as he'd liked, "I am drawing a weapon at the Knight-Captain who has entered my bedroom without permission. I am merely defending myself. Now get out."

"I'll get out when you have explained to me what that mage was doing here." He replied, crossing his arms in front of his chest.  
>"That's none of your business."<br>"That's where you're wrong. We have had our eye on that mage for quite some time now, we believe he's a threat to Kirkwall. If you are in any way associated to him-"  
>"Oh come on, Cullen!" Marian exclaimed, finally lowering the knife, "Are you really <em>that<em> dense? Anders is as much a threat to this town as a duck is to a Mabari."

"A Grey Warden mage can hardly be compared to a duck! You, Marian, are known as a very dangerous person to be enemies with. You are a friend of this mage! How can I not believe that you two are up to something that will likely put us all in grave danger?"  
>"Because we're not. You will just have to take my word for it." Marian hissed back, her body trembling with rage.<br>Cullen knew that he was being unreasonable and stupid, but he couldn't stop himself before he knew for sure.  
>"So, no plotting then?" He sneered, "That only leaves the option that you two are lovers." With some satisfaction he saw her face turn red, so he continued.<p>

"Is that it, Marian? Are you two sleeping together? Couldn't you restrain your urges long enough for the party to finish, so you snuck up here for a quick kiss? Maybe more?"  
>"Stop this now, Cullen." Marian growled, narrowing her eyes at the templar in front of her.<br>"Tell me though, because I'm curious. Did you tell him about our little meeting in my room? Does he know that I had you in my arms, moaning and begg-"

The punch took him by surprise, making him stumble backwards against the wall.  
>Marian glared at him as she massaged her hand, "No, he doesn't know. Because I already told you it was a mistake. Something that shouldn't have happened. You have no right to barge in here and start digging in my personal life! What I do and with whom I do it is <em>my<em>business, my own!" Her eyes were blazing and she gritted her teeth.

Cullen gingerly touched his lips with his fingertips and stared at the blood on them. He looked back at her and grabbed her by her shoulders with a growl, trying his hardest not to shake her vigorously.  
>"A mistake?" He snarled, "You think it was all a mistake?" Ignoring her faint protests Cullen harshly kissed her, roughly opening her lips with his tongue before pulling back again.<br>"Don't tell me I'm mistaken when your body reacts to me like that," Cullen told her hoarsely, "Don't say it's a mistake that you have been driving me insane for weeks now." Another kiss, more tender this time. He gently nibbled on her lower lip, noting with satisfaction that she's not protesting or struggling anymore.

"Cullen," Marian mumbled breathless when he finally pulled back again, but he doesn't let her finish. With his thumb he tenderly stroked the moist lip he had been biting mere seconds ago, "I don't get it." He murmured, "What is it about you that makes me act like this?" The knife fell on the floor with a dull thud, unnoticed by the both of them.  
>He had calmed down a bit, his rage subsiding enough to let him see her bruised lips and feel his own jaw throbbing after her punch. Suddenly feeling ashamed, he let go of her.<br>"I'm sorry. You are right," He apologized, turning away from Marian and walking towards the door.

Leaving? He was leaving? Like the void, he was! "You bloody idiot, will you shut up for a minute?!" Marian growled at him, grabbing his wrist as he turned away. "How dare you!" She demanded, "How dare you come in here throwing accusations at me and one of my friends? How dare you touch me like that, kiss me like that and then all of a sudden run off again like I'm some sort of toy you can just throw away when things get too complicated for you?"

"Marian, I,-"  
>"I told you to shut up!" She snarled, "You have no right to do this to me. I am not your property, Cullen! You don't even know me, for crying out loud! Anders is my friend, there is nothing going on between him and me. He was trying to escape from you without being noticed, something I can't blame him for after what just happened!"<br>Cullen pulled his wrist out of her grasp, "Someone who is innocent doesn't run away from authority, Hawke!" He sneered back at her.

Marian scoffed, "According to you sodding Templars, no mage is ever innocent!" She retorted, ignoring the little voice in her head that screamed at her to not let him go away yet. In fact, the voice suggested, you could just continue where you two left off a few minutes ago.  
>"Fine! Let's say he is as harmless as you say, then why not stay at the party and meet me face to face?" Cullen demanded, not willing to let this go.<br>"Are you insane?" Marian asked, "You actually expect any mage to just walk up to you and say 'Hullo there Knight-Captain. Not to worry, I'm not here for any demon raising'?"

"Don't be ridiculous!"  
>"I am not the one being ridiculous! You are, I'm just pointing this out to you! You are the one who comes in here, sweeps me off my feet and kisses me until I'm too dizzy to think straight!" She raised her voice slightly in her frustration, "And then, just when I'm starting to enjoy it and might forgive you for acting like a complete ass you turn around and-"<br>"I swept you off your feet?" Cullen interrupted her, suddenly watching her intently.  
>"-and you want to run off like... what?" Marian blinked, thrown off-balance by his question.<br>"Too dizzy to think straight? You... started to enjoy it?"

Marian glared at him, "Really? Out of all the things I just threw at you, you choose to focus on that?"  
>Cullen smirked wickedly and pulled her in an embrace, "You are completely right, let's focus on making you dizzy again instead" he whispered, before lowering his head for another kiss.<p>

They both jumped when the door slammed open and Leandra strode in, "Knight-Captain, what do you think you're doing with my daughter?" she demanded. Cullen let Marian go and reluctantly took a step back.  
>Marian closed her eyes and groaned, her mother had to be the queen of Bad-Timings, "Mother, it's fine." She said, mentally willing her mother to get the hint and go away.<br>Her mother glared at her daughter, "No Marian, this is not fine. Knight-Captain or not, he is not supposed to be in your bedroom! Just think of the scandal when this becomes known."  
>"I suggest you keep your voice down if you don't want this to become a scandal, mother." Marian remarked dryly.<p>

"Mistress Hawke, I can assure you I had nothing but the best intentions. I apologize for-" Cullen's voice trailed off in the withering stare Leandre gave him.  
>"It may be best if you left, Ser." Leandra replied, her voice leaving no room for objection.<br>Cullen nodded and, after a last glance at Marian, left the room.

Marian grimaced as her mother went into a speech about the questionable decision to kiss the Knight-Captain. A templar. Templars hunted mages, surely she knew that? Had she forgotten about her sister so quickly?  
>Her good sense told her that her mother was right. But somewhere deep inside her guts, a little voice told her good sense to go take a hike.<p> 


	9. I am alone

The tunnel seemed to go on forever, with side passages everywhere. Marian looked around bewildered. It was of the utmost importance that she found the right way, but how could she find it in this maze?  
>"Marian!"<br>"Mother!" Marian called back, running into the direction she heard her mother's voice coming from.  
>The side passages disappeared and all that was left was one long tunnel, going on and on. Torches on the walls made her shadow dance as she rushed on. The dancing shadows seemed cheerful, mocking her desperation.<br>"Mother! Where are you?" Marian's voice broke down in a sob. Willing her legs to go faster, Marian felt as if her heart was about the burst out of her chest. She was afraid. Afraid of what she would find, afraid of what she wouldn't find and afraid of what might come next. She has only been this afraid two times in her life. The first time was when she saw her brother rush at that Maker-forgotten ogre. And the last time had been when she had looking in her sister's eyes and realized there was no saving her.  
>And now… her mother.<br>"Marian! Ma-" The cry was cut off, only the echoes lingered in the cold tunnel.  
>"Mother! No!" Panic surged through Marian's body and she pushed onwards with renewed vigor.<br>The bare walls made place for walls hung with rotten drapery and long neglected paintings of people without faces. Marian ignored them, slowing down as she approached the large looming door at the end of the tunnel. The flames on the torches are still, the shadows dance no more. With trembling hands Marian ran her fingers over the dark, scorched wood of the door, trying to feel its energy. But there was nothing. No sense of evil or good.  
>For a moment Marian hesitated, chewing her lip. But then she shook her head; this was no time for hesitation. She needed to get to her mother.<br>She pushed against the door, which opened with surprising ease. The draft coming from the room beyond the door stank with decay.  
>Behind her the torches blew out, leaving her in darkness that was only lessened by the cold, blue gleam coming from the vast room in front of her.<br>Gagging, Marian pushed on, opening the door completely. Her face grim, she grabbed the daggers that she always kept handy in her boots.  
>"Mother?" She called out again, entering the room with care.<br>No answer was forthcoming, not that she was expecting one by now.  
>Picking up her pace again, Marian ventured further, tightening her grip on her blades.<br>Suddenly the silence was pierced by a deafening bang as the heavy door behind her slammed shut. Marian shrieked and turned around, dropping one of her knives on the ground. Panting heavily, Marian put her hand on her chest to try and calm down her insanely fast heartbeat.  
>After a few seconds she knelt down and felt the black floor in search of her dagger, not taking her eyes of the altar in front of her. A tiny voice in the back of her mind screamed at her, telling her that the altar had not been there a few seconds ago. Marian pushed the tiny voice back again. Of course that altar had been there all along, where else would it have been?<br>She sighed with relief when her fingers bumped into the handle of her dagger and she gripped it firmly, rising up and advancing on the altar.  
>A tall figure stood with its back to her, not moving at all. It was looming over another figure, lying on the altar, obscured by a piece of cloth.<br>"Who are you?" Marian demanded to know, her own loud voice deafening to her own ears in this oasis of silence.  
>The tall figure turned around slowly, the blue light illuminated his face in an eerie way as he flashed Marian a creepy smile.<br>Marian took a step back, her jaw slack and her eyes wide,  
>"Carver?" she whispered in horror. This couldn't be. Carver had been dead for a few years now.<br>"Hello, dear sister." Carver said, the creepy smile broadening. But he didn't really say it; it was like the words arrived in her head without the intervention of air or by Carver moving his lips.  
>The voice sounded like a hiss, like dry sand running through an hourglass. Hollow and dead.<br>"What are you?" Marian demanded, narrowing her eyes.  
>"Sister, you wound me. I'm your brother."<br>"Carver is dead. You are not him. What have you done with mother?"  
>"Ahh." Carver nodded slowly and pursed his lips in thought, before addressing her again with mad cheerfulness. "Mother is right here of course. " He gestured to the figure lying on the altar.<br>"Carver, you know that Marian never trusted you on your word. Why don't you show her?" A different voice came from behind Marian. Marian turned around slowly, tears welling up in her eyes.  
>"Bethany?" She whispered hoarsely, unable to prevent a stray tear from running down her cheek.<br>"Aye. It's me." Bethany approached her slowly, the blue light showing sunken eyes in a gaunt face. Bethany's once dark curl now lay matted and rotten on her scalp and her beautiful smile was marred by yellow and broken teeth in a wicked grimace.  
>Marian recoiled and looked away from her sister.<br>"What's wrong sister? Can't you look upon what you yourself created?" Bethany demanded, putting cold hands on Marian shoulders, forcing her to look "You left me there to die, you made me into what I am now."  
>"No!" Marian cried out, wrenching herself out of her sisters grasp.<br>"It's true." Carver added, putting his hands behind his back as he descended down the stairs. "You weren't content with letting me perish at the ogre's hands. You wanted mother's attention all to yourself, so you let Bethany die down there."  
>"I did no such thing! Stay away!" Marian shouted, putting her daggers up threateningly.<br>Carver walked over to Bethany and put his hands, his rotten and slimy hands, on Bethany's back.  
>"Ah, but now we are together again. And we have you to thank for that, sister dearest." He went on, "And it seemed only fair that we got mother reunited with us as well. And once again, you helped us!"<br>The figure that had been lying on the altar stirred and sat up. Marian watched, unable to move, as the figure stood up and turned around. Its movements were stiff and unnatural, like a puppet on a string.  
>"Where were you, Marian?" Leandra's voice cut through Marian's heart.<br>Marian closed her eyes and dropped on her knees, a heartbreaking sob escaping her lips.  
>"You were never there when I needed you. Always away on your so-called 'missions'." Leandra continued, her dragging footsteps coming closer and closer.<br>"You didn't even come to my aid when my bones crunched in that ogre's grip." Carver intoned.  
>"You didn't even <em>try<em> to get me out of the Deep Roads. You drove that dagger into my heart." Bethany's voice snarled in her ear.  
>Marian shook her head, tears now streaming freely.<br>"Look at us, Marian." Her siblings and mother intoned. "Look at us and join us."  
>Without really wanting it, Marian slowly opened her eyes.<br>They were holding hands, standing in front of her. Between Carver and Bethany stood Leandra, wearing that cursed wedding dress Marian found her in last time. Leandra's face was ashen, her eyes a milky white.  
>As Marian stared at her family in horror, Leandra brought her face close to Marian's and whispered, "You're next."<p>

Marian awoke to the sound of someone screaming, screaming that just seemed to grow louder and didn't stop. Someone was shaking her and with a vague feeling of disgust she realized that her blankets and sheets were drenched.  
>"Marian! Wake up!" A man's voice broke through the screaming and suddenly Marian noticed that she herself was the one screaming. Screaming and sobbing.<br>She was in her bedroom, her sheets and linen twisted and knotted around her sweat covered body. She managed to stop screaming, but the sobbing didn't ease up as easily.  
>Strong arms pulled her into an embrace while she tried to fight the haunting images of that horrible dream. That's all it was. A dream. Bethany and Carver were dead. And her mother… she had buried her mother yesterday. Her mother was dead as well. She was all alone. This triggered another stream of sobs and tears, but by now she finally had gotten a grip on what was real and what wasn't.<br>"Hush, it's alright. It's alright." A man whispered in her ear and Marian's eyes opened wide.  
>"Cullen?!" She exclaimed as she pushed him back in shock, "What are you doing here? Where's Bodahn? Where… How?"<br>Then she sighed and slumped back in his arms. It didn't matter, not now. All she needed now was a shoulder to cry on.  
>Cullen didn't answer, but instead hugged her tightly.<p> 


End file.
